Thumbs United

11-20-2021

Presented Without Comment

I’ve been presenting my art without comment for years. The hope was that it could inspire more people to create art in a form of their choice. With the belief that if more people spent more time being creative the world would be a better place.

For along time I’ve felt that the art alone would be enough. I wanted to be an abstraction, an idea, a mantra. “Any one could be the master of art”. I was inspired by chief gusto’s (Ratatouille) “Any one can cook” as well as Ra's al Ghul “The training is nothing, the will is everything” (Batman Begins). However, I didn’t want it to come from me, it was that Art that I wanted to matter, not me the artist. In a lot of ways I still feel this way, but I feel I’ve come down this road as far as it can go.

I’ve struggled with mental health, but I’ve worked hard to achieve remission. I’ve fought my way out of two catatonic episodes. While I did have to live through these experiences I owe most of my recovery success to my family’s support. I also didn’t have a choice not to recover. My mother and I were the caretakers for my grandmother and our mission was to giver her the best life we possible could. Together we kept her alive and well for 6 years.

A lot of the photography projects were only started for her. She always felt like a burden and when asked if she wanted to go out she would say “no”. But if I changed it a little and said “I’m going to the park to take photos, do you want to come?”. She would just about jump for joy at being included and getting to travel even if it was only 20 minutes away.

We were the same in this way. Over the 2 years since she passed I’ve become more reclusive. I pulled the same trick with my grandmother on myself. I would search for a parks and events and I would take my camera there. The camera wasn’t going to take photos by it’s self and this was how I motivated my self for a while. I couldn’t leave the house for me, but stick a camera in my hand and I’ll jump out an airplane to get the shot. In this way art (photography) was my therapy, in addition to traditional therapy.

But I can’t do that any more. The lines from Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises was stuck in my head on a loop. Alfred telling Bruce “You’re not the Batman any more, that time has come and gone. The world needs Bruce Wayne, your knowledge, your resources. It doesn’t need you body” and Bruce replying “You’re afraid if I go after bane, I’ll fail” and Alfred finishes with “I’m afraid that you want to.”

I’ve been evolving the past year and I feel ready. Ready to exist, ready to give more knowledge, more support and more of myself. I hope this me coming into final form. Thank you for waiting I’ll back soon.